The Fall of Slow is the Year of Slow
Slow doesn't mean stagnant.
It’s SXSW time here in Austin and the energy has dialed up a notch or two. I’m getting DMs and invites and asks. I’m noticing the urge to be everywhere, to learn everything, to meet everyone.
Aside from this being my first SX, I tend to feel this pressure every March. I think it’s because March is when it dawns on me that it’s a “new year.” January is still December in my book, February is me yawning and being like, “Okay let me figure out what I’m doing.” March is like, “Oh shit, we are 3 months in now.”
Le Sigh.
Those of you who have been around a little while will remember that last September after burning out from the Real Self-Care book launch and landing myself in the hospital for 4 days with an angry gallbladder, I declared the Fall of Slow.
During the Fall of Slow I gave myself:
Permission to STOP
Permission to PLAY
Permission to GO INTERNAL
I spent the last few months of 2023 stopping and playing1, and I went internal. Going internal is where Real Self-Care came in — Boundaries, Compassion, Values, Power. Real Self-Care is a framework to make decisions that are aligned with your values, as opposed to society’s or someone else’s values. I came out the other side of my Fall of Slow with a re-organized schedule for my work, and how I allocate my time and resources.
And, I’m keeping it going for 2024: the Year of Slow.
When I felt that SXSW panicked feeling, and a surge of FOMO like I had to do it all now, I stopped. I let myself consider what might, actually, feel fun. I went internal and considered the values I wanted to embody during an over-stimulating and overwhelming couple of days. My values for SXSW: ease, enoughness2, attentiveness.
I’ve responded with gracious no’s to several invites. I’ve been transparent about not overscheduling myself because I don’t want to feel rushed or stressed. I’ve picked a three events that are very important to me that I will make sure not to miss. And, two reach connections to make. And that is all and that is Enough.
What stops us from practicing Slow? Usually, it’s the fear that we will not be productive and that we will fall behind. The practice of slow is not one of stagnation. The Cambridge dictionary defines stagnant as a condition in which growth has stopped.
But, as I hope you can see, the Year of Slow is about growing in a self-directed way, as opposed to growing just for the sake of growth.
Your calls to action for the 3 Steps of Slow
Here are some touchpoint for practicing Stopping, Playing, and Going Internal.
To do:
Pick a peak activity that’s coming up in the next month and apply the 3 steps of Slow: Stop, Play, and Go Internal. For you, it might be wedding season, or maybe your family has like four birthdays, all in March. For me it’s a speaking engagement sprint will have me in a different city every week in March. Pick your thing and apply Stop, Play and Go Internal.
Ask yourself: What is your slow in service of? For me, it’s so that I’m not spending every weekend working and have more time with my kid. It’s so that I have time to actually take care of my mental and physical health. It’s so that I can start writing the proposal for Book 2, and have the time to properly cultivate this newsletter community.
Yes, this will mean I am less productive. This is a topic that comes up often with my patients, and I like to be up front about it. YOU WILL BE LESS PRODUCTIVE. You might make less money. You might not meet your goal mile time. You might live in a less fancy city or neighborhood. All of those things are true. And, certainly there are factors like race and class and identity that impact which choices are accessible to you. And, my hope is that this note serves as a little reminder, the next time that voice of urgency and FOMO sneaks up on you, to SLOW and implement Stopping, Playing, and Going Internal.
To remember:
To feel well, you have to keep doing the things that made you feel well in the first place.
Slow does not mean stagnant. It means less of what doesn’t matter, and more of what matters most.
To read:
Recovery: The Lost Art of Convalescence by Dr. Gavin Francis is a book that I’ve been coming back to over and over again for the past 6 months. It’s short and sweet, and so good.
xo,
Pooja
From the Archives
If you found today’s newsletter helpful, these two pieces from the Archives are nice companions:
Meet me at SXSW this weekend
I’ll be on stage on Saturday 3/9 at 10am CT for a panel on intergenerational trauma and breaking the cycle with Ruby Warrington, author of Women Without Kids and Sober Curious; Chris Marshall, mental health advocate and founder of SANS Bar, the first alcohol-free bar space in the United States; and Abby Kamen, artist and the author of Generation WE. (Room 9AM, Austin Convention Center)
I’ll be doing a Real Self-Care book signing on Sunday 3/10 at 12pm CT. (Room 10C, Austin Convention Center)
My play involved reading sci-fi, joining the local YMCA, and listening to podcasts —more on this in another note, if you want.
Yes, I know this is not a real word. But, I like it.
I bought your book as a pre-order when it debuted and have been too busy to read it since. 🤦♀️ Definitely time to prioritize! Enoughness (it's a word now!) and slow is especially resonating with me, and I have a friend in major burnout who needs it. You mention intersections but we're struggling with how to replace lost income from slowing down when we're already operating with very tight margins. Capitalism just doesn't care. Is this something you could speak to in a future letter? (Or tell me which chapter of the book to jump to lol) I totally get the necessity of cutting back but the privilege to do so is the reality we're having trouble navigating. In my friend's case she is so burnt out after an accident she genuinely needs a full stop from work but has no safety net to actually do that. Thanks!
I'm enjoying your posts! Real Self-Care is a much needed resource; I've been recommending it to a lot of people lately. Hope you're able to take all the slow you need. :)