Thanks for writing about this! I too heard the Ezra Klein interview and loved it.
I think work schedules are the biggest barrier for me and my family -- weekday hangouts feel almost impossible, between ending work, daycare pickup, and toddler bedtime. I'm working on cultivating relationships with neighbors, as one possible solution.
Was that me who commented how they've become more of a hermit since the pandemic? I've been saying this to people in my life and feeling like they don't understand me. Reading those words helped me in knowing I'm not alone.
I read the same NYT article and thought to myself this is one of those things that’s simple but not “easy”. Thanks for adding more context and layers to it.
I’m hosting The Group Formerly Known as Book Club tonight at my new post-divorce place for the first time! The key for me to not be overwhelmed by hosting is to have low expectations (from my friends and of myself), a few snacks as we have re-branded as Snack Club, and respect for the time we all make to hang out. Instead of feeling anxious about my hosting skills not being good enough, I am providing an opportunity to my pals to themselves not beat themselves up just for low-key time to spend together. …right????!?!?!??!
The framing that no one has time to hang out is really important. It’s easy to look back on my time pre-kids and think, “wow, I could have been hanging out so much more,” but I thought I was too busy then too. I have also heard to suggestion of including hanging out into things like errands…”let’s go to Costco together!” Which might be a gateway for those who feel they are time poor.
I love hanging out and i miss it dearly. Also to address your non-home cooking for Book Club -- I'll take any reason to eat some prepared/catered/delivery/takeout food that i don't normally eat at home so i WELCOME when my friends just pick something up for hang out sessions. You're doing your friends a favor, i promise.
Thanks for writing about this! I too heard the Ezra Klein interview and loved it.
I think work schedules are the biggest barrier for me and my family -- weekday hangouts feel almost impossible, between ending work, daycare pickup, and toddler bedtime. I'm working on cultivating relationships with neighbors, as one possible solution.
Was that me who commented how they've become more of a hermit since the pandemic? I've been saying this to people in my life and feeling like they don't understand me. Reading those words helped me in knowing I'm not alone.
I read the same NYT article and thought to myself this is one of those things that’s simple but not “easy”. Thanks for adding more context and layers to it.
I’m hosting The Group Formerly Known as Book Club tonight at my new post-divorce place for the first time! The key for me to not be overwhelmed by hosting is to have low expectations (from my friends and of myself), a few snacks as we have re-branded as Snack Club, and respect for the time we all make to hang out. Instead of feeling anxious about my hosting skills not being good enough, I am providing an opportunity to my pals to themselves not beat themselves up just for low-key time to spend together. …right????!?!?!??!
The framing that no one has time to hang out is really important. It’s easy to look back on my time pre-kids and think, “wow, I could have been hanging out so much more,” but I thought I was too busy then too. I have also heard to suggestion of including hanging out into things like errands…”let’s go to Costco together!” Which might be a gateway for those who feel they are time poor.
I love hanging out and i miss it dearly. Also to address your non-home cooking for Book Club -- I'll take any reason to eat some prepared/catered/delivery/takeout food that i don't normally eat at home so i WELCOME when my friends just pick something up for hang out sessions. You're doing your friends a favor, i promise.
Such an important issue! This is one of the reasons I'm moving to southern Italy where hanging out is a priority, not a burden.
Cheaper to eat at home, still not interested in face to face activities, maybe in 2025.