I’ve recently become quietly annoyed by the question “what are your plans for the weekend?” It’s usually harmless but I always take it as “you should be doing something this weekend.” But, as you highlight, there’s such value in slowness...in tending to yourself or your space. A weekend of reading and reflecting. We don’t need to go go go all the time.
Thank you Caroline for this. I was talking to someone last week and she used the term “culture of urgency” and that stuck with me. Why are we so afraid of space and slow and time? When really it’s the most precious thing we have. Appreciate you being here and sharing your experience.
2. I find that I constantly refuse to listen to my body until they decide that the only way I'll pay attention is through some physical, chronic issue that makes me realize my need
3. YES to care and rest and pausing and saying no not just through the physical rest but through all these other avenues!
I'm always supporting you in this. You wrote a brilliant book. You're changing lives. AND you get to practice sacred, careful, curated, magical rest. Thank you for being your honest, wonderful self with us.
I'm looking forward to joining you for the Fall of Slow. I'm moved by your admission of dismissing your own need for rest, especially when your work requires a commitment to helping others during their time of great need. That photo of Fifi is priceless purrfection.
Thank you Lisa. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the excitement and attention and flattery too and not allow yourself to admit that you are going too hard or too fast. And yes that I was doing it in service of a book I wrote to help others (and also that I wanted that book to do well too 🙃😭)
I have long heard the term "hospital fantasy" describing the desire of a working mom to be in a very minor car accident or other such thing and have a "no guilt" excuse to take a break from all of your responsibilities for a few days. PS - the Wool series is awesome!
Such a great read!!! Your descriptions of your layered relationship with restorative rest lands like a salve & serves as a compass! Thank you for taking the time to write this! Happy resting
I relate to so much of this having had something physical (but entirely non-life-threatening) stop me for an extended period a few years back. The relief that I was ‘allowed’ to rest was a real eye-opener. I approach it all so differently now whilst also knowing old habits have a tendency to creep back in when we’re not looking 👀 Thank you for sharing your story. I think it’ll help a lot of people to read it
Appreciate you noting that old habits never die. Having the words STOP, PLAY and INTERNAL at the top of my mind is helping, but it is in no way 100%. Sometimes I feel like all of life is unlearning the things we thought we knew, and then unlearning them again, and again. :) At least now, I recognize it much faster and can pull back with less internal conflict.
Thank you for sharing for real how hard this is. I’m glad your gall bladder is sorted now. Happy to read you when you feel inspired. My current mantra is ‘you are not a vending machine’.
Interesting story about your gallbladder! I've been having pain exactly where my gallbladder is since early August. Both my CT scan and bloodwork came back normal. My doctor told me it's probably just my anxiety. I wonder if I should get a second opinion.
Love your content and have read your book. Please though, watch the grammar. You’re not LAYING around. You are lying around. Lay requires an object, like laying a book on the table, chickens lay eggs, you do not lay around. I’m aware that some think grammar isn’t important but, it is!
I'm looking forward to learning more about the concept of taking responsibility for the "shadow side of workaholism" & "ego wrapped up in patterns".
I really appreciate Dr. Pooja's statement about being "guilty of dismissing my needs, and only stopping when I physically CANNOT do more." The statement deeply resonates with me because I so often worry about what other people think of me while trying to get approval from them at the same time.
Oof, relapsing is rough. And it happens to the best of us (no shade). Glad you're finding different kinds of rest. I talk a lot about relational rest and recovery (activities with people, plants, pets, and place) for all the serotonin and oxytocin-giving benefits. Discovered you in the Ezra interview. You're getting at all the things I've seen as problematic, status-quo sides of self-care. Loving it! Will share with my clients and list. I write and speak about Decolonizing and befriending Time from a mixed-indigenous lens and I help those in burnout with self-care through repairing their relationship with Time (as their friend), not the goop-styled kind of capitalist pampering. The kind that addresses the systemic issues and envisions a new way of being. This framework is so helpful. Thank you!
Fall of Slow. It’s happening on my end.
I’ve recently become quietly annoyed by the question “what are your plans for the weekend?” It’s usually harmless but I always take it as “you should be doing something this weekend.” But, as you highlight, there’s such value in slowness...in tending to yourself or your space. A weekend of reading and reflecting. We don’t need to go go go all the time.
Thank you Caroline for this. I was talking to someone last week and she used the term “culture of urgency” and that stuck with me. Why are we so afraid of space and slow and time? When really it’s the most precious thing we have. Appreciate you being here and sharing your experience.
Happy that you’re back, feeling better, and take the time and space you need ❤️
Same! Or on Mondays when people ask "what did you do over the weekend?" and I feel awkward saying "Nothing, I just relaxed."
1. I'm so proud of you for voicing this
2. I find that I constantly refuse to listen to my body until they decide that the only way I'll pay attention is through some physical, chronic issue that makes me realize my need
3. YES to care and rest and pausing and saying no not just through the physical rest but through all these other avenues!
I'm always supporting you in this. You wrote a brilliant book. You're changing lives. AND you get to practice sacred, careful, curated, magical rest. Thank you for being your honest, wonderful self with us.
Ah Kaitlin. Thank you for this gift. You Substack (and your gorgeous book!) have helped me SO much during this time. ❤️
I'm looking forward to joining you for the Fall of Slow. I'm moved by your admission of dismissing your own need for rest, especially when your work requires a commitment to helping others during their time of great need. That photo of Fifi is priceless purrfection.
Thank you Lisa. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the excitement and attention and flattery too and not allow yourself to admit that you are going too hard or too fast. And yes that I was doing it in service of a book I wrote to help others (and also that I wanted that book to do well too 🙃😭)
It sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to be doing right now which is beautiful and wonderful. Hugs.
Thank you Kathryn!
I have long heard the term "hospital fantasy" describing the desire of a working mom to be in a very minor car accident or other such thing and have a "no guilt" excuse to take a break from all of your responsibilities for a few days. PS - the Wool series is awesome!
Yes yes yes. That is what it was. And the fact that it was so glorious was a wake up call 🫠. And yes too the Wool trilogy. So so good.
Such a great read!!! Your descriptions of your layered relationship with restorative rest lands like a salve & serves as a compass! Thank you for taking the time to write this! Happy resting
Aw thank you Esther. What you said here was beautifully written. I will come back to it when I’m at risk of forgetting :)
The Joy of Rest. Care for yourself. That is a gift to yourself and to others. ❤️🩹
Thank you Beverly!
I’m getting more and more comfortable with answering, “I’m resting” in answer to questions re weekend plans.
Thanks for setting a good example for others. Much appreciated.
We teach what we need to know, right?
I relate to so much of this having had something physical (but entirely non-life-threatening) stop me for an extended period a few years back. The relief that I was ‘allowed’ to rest was a real eye-opener. I approach it all so differently now whilst also knowing old habits have a tendency to creep back in when we’re not looking 👀 Thank you for sharing your story. I think it’ll help a lot of people to read it
Appreciate you noting that old habits never die. Having the words STOP, PLAY and INTERNAL at the top of my mind is helping, but it is in no way 100%. Sometimes I feel like all of life is unlearning the things we thought we knew, and then unlearning them again, and again. :) At least now, I recognize it much faster and can pull back with less internal conflict.
Oh my goodness, yes, the unlearning on loop. I feel that too.
Thank you for sharing for real how hard this is. I’m glad your gall bladder is sorted now. Happy to read you when you feel inspired. My current mantra is ‘you are not a vending machine’.
Ohhhh I LOVE that. Thank you for the gift.
Interesting story about your gallbladder! I've been having pain exactly where my gallbladder is since early August. Both my CT scan and bloodwork came back normal. My doctor told me it's probably just my anxiety. I wonder if I should get a second opinion.
Love your content and have read your book. Please though, watch the grammar. You’re not LAYING around. You are lying around. Lay requires an object, like laying a book on the table, chickens lay eggs, you do not lay around. I’m aware that some think grammar isn’t important but, it is!
I'm looking forward to learning more about the concept of taking responsibility for the "shadow side of workaholism" & "ego wrapped up in patterns".
I really appreciate Dr. Pooja's statement about being "guilty of dismissing my needs, and only stopping when I physically CANNOT do more." The statement deeply resonates with me because I so often worry about what other people think of me while trying to get approval from them at the same time.
Oof, relapsing is rough. And it happens to the best of us (no shade). Glad you're finding different kinds of rest. I talk a lot about relational rest and recovery (activities with people, plants, pets, and place) for all the serotonin and oxytocin-giving benefits. Discovered you in the Ezra interview. You're getting at all the things I've seen as problematic, status-quo sides of self-care. Loving it! Will share with my clients and list. I write and speak about Decolonizing and befriending Time from a mixed-indigenous lens and I help those in burnout with self-care through repairing their relationship with Time (as their friend), not the goop-styled kind of capitalist pampering. The kind that addresses the systemic issues and envisions a new way of being. This framework is so helpful. Thank you!