Super feeling this after a recent trip away, from the tiny violin playing “My Upper Middle Class Travel Plans Went Awry” to the sense of being caught between the mirage-oasis of “fun family travel!” and the actual respite of my regular childcare-enhanced routine. Also, fun fact: I brought up your book over commiserative drinks with a fellow mom friend once back, and she *pulled it out of her own bag.* Exciting!
The early years with travel and sleep... I remember DESPAIR--the fatigue felt worse than dealing with a crisis because it was so invisible and ongoing. The degree of tiredness begins to feel like a black wall; like an illness. I recently met a woman in her late fifties who has lived through some major tragedies and one of her most vivid, painful memories was of a sleepless toddler vacation. I hope now that you’re back you can rest 🧡
Hi Isabel thank you for this! It is interesting how these seemingly tiny pricks, added up, can really borrow deep. I am glad to report that I do feel recovered from the july 4th trip thankfully. The hard part is not sure there will be overnight trips in our future for a little bit!
This is what I struggle with SO much in parenthood “knowing that there is an end and that the feeling of chaos or loss is not permanent helps remind you of your agency and that you are not stuck permanently in a dismal situation.”
I know that one day their sleep will change but WHEN?! I have a really hard time because there isn’t a definite end time for whatever challenge I’m facing.
Anyway, I really appreciate this advice and the honesty about your trip. We haven’t done one for pretty much what you experienced, but I want to try!
without knowing anything at all about your situation, my first thought is -- is there a way for you to create a 2 hour or 12 hour respite for yourself, and make it a non-negotiable (I know the issue with this is that it takes a ton of work on your end). but having that little thing to look forward to as a respite, psychologically, is a life raft. Because youre right, nobody has any idea when the sleep/feeding/tantrums will get better. Also there is no pressure to go on trips because IG lies and it's okay to know and trust your personality (I *do* have friends who have made it work, and not knocking them, but I think it's okay to also just say, that's not for us in this season, and give yourself permission to stop re-litigating it in your mind).
Congratulations, first weekend trip is Done ✅️ and you all made it one piece safely home. I would go to my parents house every December with 2 babie (2 yrs apart) escaping the NW winter thinking it would be a relief, sunshine, and sleep. NOT. I'm hoping one day I can reflect past the excruciating struggle/post pardum.....and enjoy whatever pictures/videos may have been captured. Slow Living is my dream, for now I can only focus on slowing down within an hours time. It's a start.
Super feeling this after a recent trip away, from the tiny violin playing “My Upper Middle Class Travel Plans Went Awry” to the sense of being caught between the mirage-oasis of “fun family travel!” and the actual respite of my regular childcare-enhanced routine. Also, fun fact: I brought up your book over commiserative drinks with a fellow mom friend once back, and she *pulled it out of her own bag.* Exciting!
You made my night! Thank you Rose for this gift!!
The early years with travel and sleep... I remember DESPAIR--the fatigue felt worse than dealing with a crisis because it was so invisible and ongoing. The degree of tiredness begins to feel like a black wall; like an illness. I recently met a woman in her late fifties who has lived through some major tragedies and one of her most vivid, painful memories was of a sleepless toddler vacation. I hope now that you’re back you can rest 🧡
Hi Isabel thank you for this! It is interesting how these seemingly tiny pricks, added up, can really borrow deep. I am glad to report that I do feel recovered from the july 4th trip thankfully. The hard part is not sure there will be overnight trips in our future for a little bit!
This is what I struggle with SO much in parenthood “knowing that there is an end and that the feeling of chaos or loss is not permanent helps remind you of your agency and that you are not stuck permanently in a dismal situation.”
I know that one day their sleep will change but WHEN?! I have a really hard time because there isn’t a definite end time for whatever challenge I’m facing.
Anyway, I really appreciate this advice and the honesty about your trip. We haven’t done one for pretty much what you experienced, but I want to try!
without knowing anything at all about your situation, my first thought is -- is there a way for you to create a 2 hour or 12 hour respite for yourself, and make it a non-negotiable (I know the issue with this is that it takes a ton of work on your end). but having that little thing to look forward to as a respite, psychologically, is a life raft. Because youre right, nobody has any idea when the sleep/feeding/tantrums will get better. Also there is no pressure to go on trips because IG lies and it's okay to know and trust your personality (I *do* have friends who have made it work, and not knocking them, but I think it's okay to also just say, that's not for us in this season, and give yourself permission to stop re-litigating it in your mind).
Congratulations, first weekend trip is Done ✅️ and you all made it one piece safely home. I would go to my parents house every December with 2 babie (2 yrs apart) escaping the NW winter thinking it would be a relief, sunshine, and sleep. NOT. I'm hoping one day I can reflect past the excruciating struggle/post pardum.....and enjoy whatever pictures/videos may have been captured. Slow Living is my dream, for now I can only focus on slowing down within an hours time. It's a start.
thank you Bee for this! and, it's a start is a nice thing to hold on to :)