Yes!! We did it for my first (though less nights and less time because he was singleton). Completely agree best money spent. Even 2 nights a week in this early days is worth every penny.
I remember thinking about all the possible outcomes before my C-section. It’s a lot to carry (as well as the precious cargo!). Glad you have a supportive team on the same page, and hoping with you for a very smooth delivery! (Greetings from my hospital bed where I had much more minor non-pregnancy related surgery today but had all the feels before leaving my 3 year old at home. Being a mom is emotionally heavy! ) 💞💞💞
As a parent educator who has taught groups of first time parents of infants (you're not a first timer) and a mom of three, I hear you doing nesting on steroids by doing everything possible externally that you can. And I think that as of today, you have done that and good job. I really hear (and have felt) the reality of fear of death. Another PE said that the new moms have "passed through the valley of the shadow of death". I will remind you that when a mother goes through that transition,she learns many things she did not know on the other side. I encourage you to remember all that you learned when you birthed your son. A mother learns how very STRONG she is, in a way no other experience teaches us. We don't want to have to be strong, but you are. Know that you can count on yourself. Trust you, trust your good strong body that you have taken such good care of. Trust your ability to birth and trust your good ability to heal. Start writing those affirmations. Make signs and make others around you say affirming things to you and around you about your birth, your body and your healing. Trust the birthing process and the post partum process. Trust your babies! Remember how surprisingly resilient your first baby proved to be! That little life force is choosing to be here. Your babies are bringing their own ability to fight and thrive. Trust your son and his growth. You are giving him the best gift life can provide. Your babies are all more closely related to each other than they are even to you, genetically. TELL him that (many times through life as he can understand it). Have a gift for him from each of the babies ready for him to open the first time he meets them. (Oddly, the big sib never seems to question how the baby went shopping! If he does, you can just say she heard him talking about it and told you.) Tell him they love him more than they love ANYBODY, even mommie, and they will. Notice and show him in that magic moment he comes into the room and the babys head spins around to find him because they know his voice and are so excited to see him. When he feels a pang because of the attention you are showing the baby, tell him all about how you did this exactly the same for him. Ask him if he remembers that. Remind him that he got to be the only baby- for three whole years! Remind him that you got to look at just him and talk to just him when he was a baby. Remind him that children get exactly what they need when they need it. Babies need more care, just as you gave it to him when he was a baby. But now he is big and strong and can feed himself and run around all on his own. Isn't that better? Show photos from when he was a baby. Affirm life with the babies here. "We can't wait to meet them. They will love you so much" You've planned everything for what if it goes wrong. Start planning for an optimal, healthy, happy, joyful outcome. Write your affirmations because they REALLY do matter and help. Welcome this birth. Believe in yourself. Be so proud of yourself. Believe in your partner, your son, your babies, your support network. (Not suggesting in any way you don't, just reminding to bring it to the fore and reinforce how powerful - and calming- this really is.) Find gratitude that you get to have this wonderful, amazing, transformative experience. In the very least, it WILL further inform and multiply your professional knowledge. Welcome this baby and this birth with a full, open heart and a big YES. It's going to be so great!
Thank you for the shoutout to your anesthesiologist! (I’m an anesthesiologist who does a fair bit of obstetric anesthesia so your post warmed my heart a little.)
Best of luck with the next few weeks!! It sounds like you have a great team around you. I admire all the preparation you’ve done for the newsletter during your maternity leave. Thank you for all your writing, living by example, and expertise!
I loved this essay! I had a planned c section for my second child because of PTSD from my first delivery. It was so relaxed compared to my first experience. The OB was calm and confident and experienced.
I ended up choosing to have a bilateral salpingectomy because I was done with birth control and pregnancy, and to reduce my ovarian cancer risk. Best decision ever! But it caused nausea during the surgery, so the anesthesiologist gave me smelling salts? Not sure if that’s what it was but it was something very strong smelling that took the nausea away!
I think spending the money for child care and parental support is a fantastic decision!
My daughter just had another baby and she also has a three year old. The 3 year old sister has had some trouble adjusting and has started to stutter. They are gently and lovingly helping her to find her words and not focusing on it. Hopefully it will pass soon.
Love this, Pooja. Having twins by C-section should be pretty routine, unless you hemorrhage, which you have discussed with your OB. You are ready, and most likely all will be fine. Neo and NNP will be there for the girls. We anticipate everything in advance, so not to worry. Glad you stayed on your antidepressant. Will you be pumping breast milk, if so, start as early as possible. Most twin moms make enough for two, but some only make enough for one and alternate formula with expressed breastmilk, which is fine. If you, and they, are well enough, please do skin-to-skin (STS) holding ASAP and as often as you can (several times a day if possible). Get an LC to show you how to hand express, too, as that also increases early milk production. Their unclothed chest and abdomen, with diaper only, lying on your chest, without a bra. Let them snuggle between your breasts. STS holding promotes breastmilk production, oxytocin release for bonding, you feel better, and babies digest and grow better (really!). Yes, number one will be a bigger challenge than numbers two and three, and that is another story. Email me for any questions: susan@susanlandersmd.com
I maintain that spending money on a night nurse was the best money I ever spent. Hoping for a smooth and healthy delivery for you!!
Yes!! We did it for my first (though less nights and less time because he was singleton). Completely agree best money spent. Even 2 nights a week in this early days is worth every penny.
I remember thinking about all the possible outcomes before my C-section. It’s a lot to carry (as well as the precious cargo!). Glad you have a supportive team on the same page, and hoping with you for a very smooth delivery! (Greetings from my hospital bed where I had much more minor non-pregnancy related surgery today but had all the feels before leaving my 3 year old at home. Being a mom is emotionally heavy! ) 💞💞💞
Lisa thank you for this and for being here!! And wishing you a speedy speedy recovery :)
As a parent educator who has taught groups of first time parents of infants (you're not a first timer) and a mom of three, I hear you doing nesting on steroids by doing everything possible externally that you can. And I think that as of today, you have done that and good job. I really hear (and have felt) the reality of fear of death. Another PE said that the new moms have "passed through the valley of the shadow of death". I will remind you that when a mother goes through that transition,she learns many things she did not know on the other side. I encourage you to remember all that you learned when you birthed your son. A mother learns how very STRONG she is, in a way no other experience teaches us. We don't want to have to be strong, but you are. Know that you can count on yourself. Trust you, trust your good strong body that you have taken such good care of. Trust your ability to birth and trust your good ability to heal. Start writing those affirmations. Make signs and make others around you say affirming things to you and around you about your birth, your body and your healing. Trust the birthing process and the post partum process. Trust your babies! Remember how surprisingly resilient your first baby proved to be! That little life force is choosing to be here. Your babies are bringing their own ability to fight and thrive. Trust your son and his growth. You are giving him the best gift life can provide. Your babies are all more closely related to each other than they are even to you, genetically. TELL him that (many times through life as he can understand it). Have a gift for him from each of the babies ready for him to open the first time he meets them. (Oddly, the big sib never seems to question how the baby went shopping! If he does, you can just say she heard him talking about it and told you.) Tell him they love him more than they love ANYBODY, even mommie, and they will. Notice and show him in that magic moment he comes into the room and the babys head spins around to find him because they know his voice and are so excited to see him. When he feels a pang because of the attention you are showing the baby, tell him all about how you did this exactly the same for him. Ask him if he remembers that. Remind him that he got to be the only baby- for three whole years! Remind him that you got to look at just him and talk to just him when he was a baby. Remind him that children get exactly what they need when they need it. Babies need more care, just as you gave it to him when he was a baby. But now he is big and strong and can feed himself and run around all on his own. Isn't that better? Show photos from when he was a baby. Affirm life with the babies here. "We can't wait to meet them. They will love you so much" You've planned everything for what if it goes wrong. Start planning for an optimal, healthy, happy, joyful outcome. Write your affirmations because they REALLY do matter and help. Welcome this birth. Believe in yourself. Be so proud of yourself. Believe in your partner, your son, your babies, your support network. (Not suggesting in any way you don't, just reminding to bring it to the fore and reinforce how powerful - and calming- this really is.) Find gratitude that you get to have this wonderful, amazing, transformative experience. In the very least, it WILL further inform and multiply your professional knowledge. Welcome this baby and this birth with a full, open heart and a big YES. It's going to be so great!
Thank you for the shoutout to your anesthesiologist! (I’m an anesthesiologist who does a fair bit of obstetric anesthesia so your post warmed my heart a little.)
Best of luck with the next few weeks!! It sounds like you have a great team around you. I admire all the preparation you’ve done for the newsletter during your maternity leave. Thank you for all your writing, living by example, and expertise!
I loved this essay! I had a planned c section for my second child because of PTSD from my first delivery. It was so relaxed compared to my first experience. The OB was calm and confident and experienced.
I ended up choosing to have a bilateral salpingectomy because I was done with birth control and pregnancy, and to reduce my ovarian cancer risk. Best decision ever! But it caused nausea during the surgery, so the anesthesiologist gave me smelling salts? Not sure if that’s what it was but it was something very strong smelling that took the nausea away!
I think spending the money for child care and parental support is a fantastic decision!
I so appreciate you sharing these thoughts and feelings with the world. 🩷
My daughter just had another baby and she also has a three year old. The 3 year old sister has had some trouble adjusting and has started to stutter. They are gently and lovingly helping her to find her words and not focusing on it. Hopefully it will pass soon.
Love this, Pooja. Having twins by C-section should be pretty routine, unless you hemorrhage, which you have discussed with your OB. You are ready, and most likely all will be fine. Neo and NNP will be there for the girls. We anticipate everything in advance, so not to worry. Glad you stayed on your antidepressant. Will you be pumping breast milk, if so, start as early as possible. Most twin moms make enough for two, but some only make enough for one and alternate formula with expressed breastmilk, which is fine. If you, and they, are well enough, please do skin-to-skin (STS) holding ASAP and as often as you can (several times a day if possible). Get an LC to show you how to hand express, too, as that also increases early milk production. Their unclothed chest and abdomen, with diaper only, lying on your chest, without a bra. Let them snuggle between your breasts. STS holding promotes breastmilk production, oxytocin release for bonding, you feel better, and babies digest and grow better (really!). Yes, number one will be a bigger challenge than numbers two and three, and that is another story. Email me for any questions: susan@susanlandersmd.com