Pause Before You Scroll
One month before the election and I give you permission to set boundaries.
Hi folks,
If you, like me, are one of the 63% of Americans who support a woman’s right to choose, or one of the millions of people who are terrified of Project 2025, then it’s no surprise to you that we are now less than one month away from Election Day1 on November 5. (Please make sure you are registered to vote!)
So, today I’m writing to you about something that is critical over the next month: protecting your mental health in the lead up to election day.
We know that social media is already a giant dumpster fire, and we can all anticipate how much worse it’s going to get over the next few weeks.
I want you to protect your peace during this overwhelming time.
Look, the urge to doom scroll is just going to build throughout the rest of the month, and, possibly, even after election day. In my book, Real Self-Care, I talk about The Pause, which means setting a boundary between you and what’s going on around you. Whether you’re dealing with a noisy co-worker, a demanding parent, or a toxic algorithm, the first step to creating your boundary is to pause before you react.
When it comes to social media, this means The Pause should come before you make the choice to open the app or pick up your phone, which, yes, is easier said than done — but it can be done with some extra reminders.
Today, I want you to put a sticky note on your desk or on your iPhone home screen that says: PAUSE BEFORE YOU SCROLL. Heck, put it on the steering wheel of your car and tape it to your water bottle.
We know that social media algorithms are designed to keep us glued to our screens. Literally, it’s in their operating systems. But, in order to be an engaged citizen, I promise you— you really don’t need to be on social media constantly over these next few weeks. What matters in terms of the results of the election at this point is getting out the vote: helping friends and family make a plan to get to the polls on election day, perhaps phone-banking or canvassing on the weekends (I love this Vote Like a Mother campaign from the Chamber of Mothers).
Whether or not you saw the latest round of bonkers words to come out of Trump’s mouth really has no impact on the outcome of what happens next month. But, it does have the potential to ruin your mood and increase your anxiety.
When I tell my patients to log off social media to protect their mental health, they sometimes say: “But Dr. Lakshmin, I feel guilty for burying my head in the sand.” My response: mindfully limiting your media intake is not burying your head in the sand — it’s strategically protecting their peace. And, you are allowed to make that choice without guilt.
Put a sticky note on your desk or on your iPhone home screen that says:
PAUSE BEFORE YOU SCROLL.
Give yourself the gift of The Pause and ask yourself: Why you are opening Instagram/Twitter/TikTok in the first place? Are you just bored? Are you looking for a dopamine hit? Are you avoiding writing that hard email and looking for an escape? Are you standing in line for coffee and don’t know where to look, so you automatically pull out your phone?
Look, I get it. The tiny powerful machines in our pockets hold the world in our hands. When we feel burdened by the monotony or the stress of our own lives, it’s natural to want an escape. AND — honestly, in these next few weeks, social media is likely not going to be the safe or breezy escape you hope for it to be.
To be clear, we would all benefit from a device detox even outside of election season. But I’m writing this to you today because I know that the volume and intensity of news and opinions online are only going to increase over the next few weeks. I know that my patients will be more stressed and more fearful about what’s around the corner. You are at higher risk of being exposed to something toxic, triggering, or that just ruins your mood for the day or even the week.
You already know exactly how much is on the line this November. You do not need to be at the mercy of the internet for an entire month.
Remember: Your world is bigger than your phone.
xo,
Pooja
Things to do instead of scrolling:
Breathe. Literally. Are you breathing?
Read a book. My friend and psychiatrist Dr. Jessi Gold’s book, How Do You Feel? One Doctor’s Search for Humanity in Medicine, came out yesterday and it’s fantastic! You can always use a library card to do this for free.
Keep a pocket Sudoku or crossword puzzle book with you.
Carry a bag of yarn with you so you can knit on the subway instead of scrolling.
Listen to a podcast or your favorite album2
Carry your sunglasses so you can avert your eyes when you feel socially awkward in line so you don’t reach for your phone.
What else? Tell me in the comments.
More from me on Self-Care & the Election
I joined Shannon Watts, Senator Cory Booker, Kristin Neff, Sharon Salzberg, Liza Colón-Zayas, and Erica Ford on the Women Wednesdays for Harris call a few weeks ago to talk about self-care and advocacy work.
Have you registered or checked your registration status? Does your state do early voting or vote by mail? Do you know where your polling place is and have a voting plan? Find everything you need to vote at I Am a Voter.
Okay, yes, this one likely happens through your phone. But, I love my AirPods so I can keep my phone in my bag.
Yes, your phone is not real life. For goodness sake, try to talk to the person next to you. It's a hard day on the planet for all of us, spread a little affection. Or barring that, take a breath and be present right here.
love love LOVE everything about this timely, kind, tender reminder. Yes!
We need to breathe deeply and regularly right now. We need to invest in care, movement, laughter, joy, friendship. Because the work will be there, and we will remain dedicated to it. But we've got to get through this---together---and that means we have to practice care along the day. Yay for all the boundaries!!