I got kicked out of high school my junior year and got married that year. When I was fifty I began college and the summer after graduation (I was supposed to start my masters) I found out I had a brain tumor. I defied local doctors (who said it was inoperable) and flew out of state to have brain surgery. This left me unable to walk for three years, unable to see clearly (my left eyeball looked towards my nose) and deaf on one side. The fatigue was unimaginable. But instead of fully recovering, I started my masters while lying in bed and pushed, pushed, pushed myself to become a psychotherapist. I see all the same reasons in your article for why I did that. It was complicated...there were other aspects too long to write here about...but definitely, shame and perfectionism were part and parcel of it. I don't regret it and still at 72 work in the field...but it wasn't the wisest thing to do, for sure. And now, my measuring stick is different, but I still use one and I need to stop. Thank you Pooja!
👆🏻This👌🏻 Thank you for reiterating in such easy-to-understand and digest words what I constantly need to remember. I have a see-saw relationship with real vs faux self care. It was actually my Pilates practice and training that taught me intuitively to stop focusing on the metrics; only now years into teaching and practicing do I realize what my body and brain were telling me they needed. I regularly backslide (especially lately) but all is not lost!
One day, my partner kindly said to me, "can you let go of the notion that you have to let go?" It struck me so hard.
I'm also a high-achiver and love pushing limits, and self-care that I was doing to care for myself and to heal had become another to-do list. I love the feeling of achievement but also am learning to put more emphasis on truly listening to myself and doing community service (just because I love doing it).
I got kicked out of high school my junior year and got married that year. When I was fifty I began college and the summer after graduation (I was supposed to start my masters) I found out I had a brain tumor. I defied local doctors (who said it was inoperable) and flew out of state to have brain surgery. This left me unable to walk for three years, unable to see clearly (my left eyeball looked towards my nose) and deaf on one side. The fatigue was unimaginable. But instead of fully recovering, I started my masters while lying in bed and pushed, pushed, pushed myself to become a psychotherapist. I see all the same reasons in your article for why I did that. It was complicated...there were other aspects too long to write here about...but definitely, shame and perfectionism were part and parcel of it. I don't regret it and still at 72 work in the field...but it wasn't the wisest thing to do, for sure. And now, my measuring stick is different, but I still use one and I need to stop. Thank you Pooja!
Thanks for the work you do, Pooja, and thanks for sharing my essay! ❤️
👆🏻This👌🏻 Thank you for reiterating in such easy-to-understand and digest words what I constantly need to remember. I have a see-saw relationship with real vs faux self care. It was actually my Pilates practice and training that taught me intuitively to stop focusing on the metrics; only now years into teaching and practicing do I realize what my body and brain were telling me they needed. I regularly backslide (especially lately) but all is not lost!
This absolutely resonates!
One day, my partner kindly said to me, "can you let go of the notion that you have to let go?" It struck me so hard.
I'm also a high-achiver and love pushing limits, and self-care that I was doing to care for myself and to heal had become another to-do list. I love the feeling of achievement but also am learning to put more emphasis on truly listening to myself and doing community service (just because I love doing it).