You don’t have to be someone new
Four things to do instead of resolutions.
Hi folks,
2025 is officially here. You may be feeling all sorts of emotions — relieved, sad, worried, hopeful, etc.
Whatever you may be thinking today, let me reassure you: You don’t need to be someone new. You don’t need to change everything about you or your life, or anything at all. You can be the same you — really, it’s okay.
Last year, I kicked off this newsletter with a post called How to Feel Like You Are Enough, and I’m bringing back that sentiment in 2025. I wrote then, “When you take charge of your life and make choices aligned with what works for you, the internal chatter becomes less important.” You don’t have to strive to be more more more. You are enough as you are right now.
For me, the expectations of setting New Year’s resolutions and having the next year all figured out make me anxious. They always end up as a list of “what I want but don’t have yet.” I’ve always been an overachiever, and I can get very caught up in my goals. Over the years, I’ve learned that I must counteract this part of my personality by allowing myself to fully integrate what I have and what I’m grateful for.
If “New Year, New You” doesn’t sit right with you, I’m sharing some alternative activities to resolutions below.
But, before we dive in, one more thing — I’ve started calling January my rest & reset month. January is when I recover from December and metabolize the past 12 months. Give yourself the gift of time to reflect on these questions. There is no rush, I promise.
1. Take stock of what you’ve achieved this year (internally & externally) and meditate on how far you’ve come. Write down everything, big and small. 2024 was a doozy for so many folks that it might be difficult to come up with victories. But, really, this list can include insights that hold meaning for you, regardless of how significant they seem to the outside world. Things like “got better at navigating awkward conversations about why I am still single” or “I finally gave myself permission to let go of books that are just not for me, and mark them DNF, instead of torturing myself!”
2. Describe what values guided you in the past year. Maybe it was a desire to expand your world, so you took an art class or pushed yourself to make new friends. Or maybe it was quality connections, so you put extra effort into deepening the important relationships in your life. Give yourself the credit YOU deserve for all of that effort. Acting in alignment with your values is how you exert agency in a world that is force-feeding us crap. This is power. Give yourself credit for exerting it.
3. Similarly, writing down what you’re grateful for helps bring your attention to the abundance in your life — as opposed to what’s lacking. I know this sounds trite — believe me, I am the first to roll my eyes at gratitude lists. Yet, the reality is that gratitude is a form of digestion. It’s how you actually absorb what you have in front of you. Try to jot down a couple things you are grateful for at this moment, or all the things you’re grateful for from 2024 (even if it was a rough year). You might surprise yourself and find comfort in what comes out on the page. Bonus: Keep this list on your notes app, and pull it out when you need a reminder in low moments.
4. Focus on how you’d like to give back. There’s a saying that goes, “I got better when I got busy” — busy here not meaning filling up your time for the sake of it (I’m very anti that kind of busy), but consciously doing helpful for things for others. This forces you to think about what skills, talents and resources you have in your possession that you can share with others. It’s good for others, yes, but it’s also good for you.
As I reflect on these questions, a few things come to mind for me:
I was happy with the efforts I made this year to stay in touch with friends, new and old. I used voice-notes (look at me!) and have also been dabbling in the group video app Marco Polo. I also took my son K on a solo-weekend trip, over Labor Day, to visit one of my best friends in Atlanta. Even though my closest friends are spread out all over the country, it’s rare to go a few days without communicating with one of them. I am fortunate to have so much quality female friendship in my life.
I made two big, course-setting decisions in my personal life and professional life in 2024. I’m proud of myself for getting to the other side of said decisions, and for moving with conviction on both. Regardless of outcomes, I feel good about my ability to act with agency.
Getting to watch my son K grow into a little person has been one of the sweetest, unexpected gifts of 2024. Everyone says that the “2’s” are terrible. Certainly the time spent whining in our house has increased exponentially over the past 12 months. And, K is such a curious and silly little guy. It’s been a treat to get to know him and learn with and from him.
How are you feeling about turning the page into 2025? What are you most proud of from 2024?
xo,
Pooja
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📲 For more on diving deep on New Year feelings, check out Dig Into Dread.
Gratitude lists never worked for me either which led me to change a tradition that I began in 2020. Starting January 1, 2020, I wrote a memory from that day on a sticky note and dropped it in a jar. I did that for all 365 days of the year. The first week of 2021, I read all those sticky notes (it seriously takes several days to get through them all), and it would assist me to reflect on little moment that I had forgotten.
Last year on January 1, 2024, I changed what I wrote on the sticky note, and instead of a memory, I wrote something I was grateful for that day. It might have been something as simple as my cat purring in my lap to something big like a pep talk from a friend. I have not yet read those grateful moments from 2024, but plan to do so this weekend. I think this will very much guide me in my focus for 2025.
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful and comforting perspective as we step into the new year. I love the idea of January as a 'rest & reset' month—such a refreshing alternative to the pressure of resolutions. Reflecting on what guided me in the past year and leaning into gratitude feels like such a grounding way to start 2025. Here’s to giving ourselves grace and celebrating how far we’ve come! ❤️