Wellness Didn’t Save Us. Neither Will Productivity
For all the women who say “I need more hours in the day” — this is for you.
As a psychiatrist, I’m here to deliver some unfortunate news: productivity will not save us.
I have a patient, let’s call her Neena, who came to me because she felt disconnected from her work and her relationships. A busy healthcare worker, Neena approached living her life the same way she approached her career, with an emphasis on hyper-competence, productivity, and control. If a time hack or short-cut existed, Neena had tried it. In one of our first sessions Neena lamented “I feel like I’m managing my life instead of living my life.”
It didn’t occur to me to think of “life hacks” or time optimization strategies as a problem until I started compiling patient stories for my book Real Self-Care, in which I differentiate between the consumer oriented, buy off the shelf methods of faux self-care versus the principle focused, inner decision-making work of real self-care. I previously thought of productivity hacks as an annoying trend to be swatted away. But, while working on my book, I came to understand that “productivity porn” was just as insidious as Big Wellness.
What’s productivity porn? It’s the Getting Things Done, the Bullet Journals, the meticulously color-coded google docs and excel files. It’s self-help for people who turn their nose up at self-help.
While some turn to cleanses and crystals to temporarily escape or self-soothe from the chaos of modern life, others turn to the planners (with tabs!) and meal delivery kits for the illusion of control. If only we can get an hour back into our day, then we will be saved. I see this in my clinical practice where I work with women who are burnt out, depressed and anxious. My patients rarely acknowledge that their to-do-lists are, to be frank, delusional. Instead they say, “I need more hours in the day” or “after this push, things will calm down” (spoiler: things never calm down).
For the record, I will oust myself as part of this crew. I’ve had my own chaotic journey with toxic wellness in my 20’s. And, even when writing a book called Real Self-Care, there were moments where I was on the edge of burnout, going through IVF treatments, yet desperate to cling to my pre-determined writing schedule.
But who would I be if I burned out writing a book called Real Self-Care? I spoke at length with my own psychoanalyst, who helped me pull back, miss deadlines, and understand that my desire to produce was a stand for an existential anxiety – one that no amount of penciling in and white-boarding could touch. And, I still find myself gripping my multiple to-do-lists, especially in moments of uncertainty.
Productivity is a social justice issue, really. We operate in a system in which one caste of people extract productivity from another caste of people. Yes, the culprit is capitalism run amok, and it’s also white supremacy and America’s legacy of slavery, which hold the clues to why our collective understanding of work and production operates like this in 2023. Only people who have access to resources like reliable childcare, suitable health insurance, and a social safety net have the means to be productive (or, to pay someone else to be productive for them) without enslaving themselves to the larger system. The work of Tricia Hersey, Founder of The Nap Ministry, makes clear how deeply connected our addiction to productivity, white supremacy and capitalism really are.
Just like the wellness industry, the productivity industry is silent on fixing structural problems, and puts the burden on the individual to do more, be more, and achieve more – without questioning the premise of the game in the first place. And this is why, as we’re nearly halfway through 2023 and are asked to forget that a virus has taken more than a million lives and that there are nearly 2 million fewer women in the workforce, I worry that we will try to productivity-hack our way through the collective trauma.
For Neena, for myself, and for all of us, the question is not Evernote or Trello. The question is: where did I learn that my worth lies in what I produce? And, who gains when I give every last morsel of myself away? And, even still, who would I be if my worth was not constantly being litigated? The answers that come back may challenge your thinking — that’s the point.
Your Therapy Takeaway:
Here are three ways to reframe your relationship with productivity.
Call out your delusional to-do-lists: Sometimes I sit down at my desk and realize I have named four “priorities” for the day. Four things cannot be a priority! You have to choose. And, choosing is not a failure on your part – it’s actually the marker of living in reality. When you choose, you’re acknowledging systemic constraints, and taking control of what you do have control over — your attention.
Focus on How — Not What: Yes, we all have to-do-lists that are miles long, and most of us can’t afford to stay in bed all day. But, ask yourself – is what you are doing really earth-shattering or life saving? Who will die if it takes you 2 hours to answer an email instead of 20 minutes? Usually, the thing that will suffer is your ego. But, understand that an entire portion of the US economy is built on the guilt and shame of American workers. When you say to yourself, the way I feel when I’m completing this task is just as important as getting the task done, you’re exerting agency and power against a system that is constructed to diminish your humanity.
Integrate “the Pause”: Boundaries are Principle 1 of Real Self-Care. My conceptualization of boundaries is a little different — I define boundaries as The Pause. Your boundary is in the space between when someone asks you to do something, and when you respond. You have 3 choices: yes, no, or negotiate. The boundary is The Pause, not the No. Depending on your social determinants of health, your life circumstances, and your identity, No might not always be an option, but The Pause is. Depending on your place in the caste system, no is not always available. But, the pause – your ability to stop, think, reflect on what’s in front of you, and how you come to it, is available. And it's the first step in giving yourself permission to step away from productivity as savior.
In Case You Missed It:
For more therapy takeaways from me, Kali and Lucy, check out the conversations we’ve had in the media recently — plus, where you can join us in the future!
LISTEN:
answers questions about our relationship to psychiatric medication and the prescription process on Death, Sex & MoneyREAD: Pooja was interviewed in a Slate article where Jessi Gold explores why the self-help industry sucks people in — and what they should turn to instead
JOIN US:
will be a panelist in a new APA webinar series called “Perinatal Psychopharmacology: Treatment options for Depression and Anxiety in Pregnancy.” Details here!JOIN US: Pooja will be doing a IG Live tomorrow at 1pm ET with
of Well-Read Black Girl
I was laughing with my therapist that I thought organization tools were another cure all for fixing women’s lives... decluttering, Marie Kondoing, putting cereal in matching containers! If only we could contain it all in organized storage then our lives would finally be managed.
Great read and perspective.
"Productivity is really a social justice issue" -- well-said. I loved how you connected the toxic parts of the wellness industry to the toxic side of productivity. Sometimes all the things I'm supposed to be doing for my wellness are just more items on my delusional to do list!