Does Self-Care Exist for Caregivers?

The grief and burden of long distance caregiving.

Dear Pooja,

I live in a different country from my elderly parents, and they suffer from dementia and other health issues. I’m unable to move closer to them at this time, for multiple reasons. How can I practice real self-care when juggling the logistics of their care management from a distance, as well as the mental burden, grief, and guilt associated with not being closer to them physically? I work full-time outside the home and have two young children, and this a tremendous load to bear, all at once.

“Long Distance Caregiver”

Hello Long Distance Caregiver,

I am honored that you wrote. I have a lot to say about your question — I hope some of it will serve you. I’m going to put my response into two buckets: the first will be more operationally focused, and the second will be more emotionally focused.

Before we dive into either of these categories of “solution” (air quotes because it is impossible to solve/remove your problem - what’s possible are varying degrees of coping with it and …